yesterday

the older you get, the better you are to spend time with.

So I can't lie, I did steal this off of Becca's blog first, whoopsie! but I did it for a reason. These two ladies, and two others, made my year yesterday. It began when we all were able to feed them lunch and then we got to sit and eat with them. These two ladies in the picture first brightened my day, only because they are who they are. There is something about older people, they seem to love themselves. They don't care what the world has to say about them, they love themselves and most importantly everyone around them. I felt the spirit where they are. They are with it, I would say almost mroe hip then I am. (ALMOST:P) But one thing that Betty said really stuck out to me, she's on the right. She looked straight into my eyes and said, you know miss Amy, life goes on, or it doesnt. Simple yet if you think about it you have to keep enduring, and that's what she does each and every day. I can honestly say I love these ladies.

I met Elenore as well, she touched my life and made me smile. She is the great great neice of Brigham Young and her husband helped construct the bomb that was thron on Hiroshima.. He knew so much and for an older man, he was handsome! And she was simply just as gorgeous. She sat and talked to me for forty minutes and I soaked up every minuts.

Then Janette. She is a little ray of sunshine. She sang songs with me and laughed when we both messed up, dorothy even sang along. Some song about a taxi and some hunk of a man.

So much was learned yesterday! Yes!

mmmm

Just wanted to add a photo to show... the whole happiness thing I talked about a few posts ago... mmmhmm two of my best friends and I, we make life come ALIVE:)

Four words

my four words would be- mom, sorry, love and integrity:) #comm150

My first word would be mom because she is the woman in my life. I know that that may sound awkward and that is not how that is intended. But my Mother is solely my hero and best friend. She stands for something, even to people that would be the hardest to stand up to.. Her children have challenged her in so many ways, and she has stood her ground. Making sure that these spirits have a fighting chance through what she has taught them. She is vital to my everyday, life without her would be devastating.

Sorry is a word that I use a lot. At work I have been bound from saying it. When I took the love language quiz I found out that a big part of me is that I need words to affirm what I do. Including when I do something wrong. I don't need someone to do something to show me that they aren't mad or upset with me, I need verbal communication for me to again be confident and feel that the relationship is on the mend, or becoming ok. I also feel that everyone should have a steady diet of saying sorry to stay humble. It keeps everyone in check with everyone around them!

Love? Why is that one of my favorite words? My mother says I love you to me everyday and that means a lot... Of course.. But my Father says it when he REALLY needs you to know it. It is deep and worth more than you know. I want to have that same kind of power in that simple, beautiful word. When I say love, I want someone to FEEL it.

mmmm, Love.

Integrity is the final word I chose, and to be honest I probably should have put it first, because of its weight in the world.

Point blank everyone needs it. If you don't have it, do some SERIOUS soul searching and get some.

WHAT if tweets

I thought that the conversation about what if's is so hard. There are some things that we simple cannot understand or know until it actually happens to us. Things change, people change and so do opinions depending on who we are and the situations we are in.

As for would we pursue something if we knew that they were going to die.
To be honest with you I would now. I think that perfect love would be great to have right off the bat. But it makes me ask myself the question would it be as worth it if it was something just given or something that was REALLY sincerely worked for. I think that my answer to this would definitely be that I would want to work for it, AND have more time with that person. I would love to cultivate something, watch it grow and become something beautiful even if it wasn't the definition of perfect. No one can really have that anyway... I want something HARD! I want something that is going to make me cry, be angry, FEEL something.... Feel as though I might lose everything only to turn around the next day, see my version of perfect man and realize that I gave everything for MY everything.

As for betrayal. I still have to say yes. I have to remember how on this earth we are trying to become like Christ. Like Erick said in class yesterday we betray our Father and Savior every day and THEY love us. No matter what. If we are committed to someone in the temple, for time and all eternity.... Forgiveness should be something that is on the top of our list. From not experiencing real betrayal myself, I can only say that I would forgive it... who knows, maybe not? But this is what I would hope that I would do...


comm#150 I like that Jordi! I have been thinking this whole time that I am SO glad that I JUST don't know!

@RyaJam my thought almst too... you know you love some1 but thse thngs would def. be on the TODONT list... but it's supposedly perfect love?

comm#150 this one is tough I see why sis. Embree has wrestled with it for years......

comm#150 I have been thinking though.. do you want a love that is "perfect?" Is it really perfect then?

Comm#150 love and perfection in the same sentence??:) I think if a temple sealing was on that..? I could wait... Maybe
#comm150 I think that their reward is in the lessons learned not really the person learned from? if that makes sense?

recognizing your emotions

How did you recognize the emotions you felt: through physiological stimuli, nonverbal behaviors, or cognitive process?

-The way that I recognized my feelings the most was in my thought process. For instance someone said something to me that was unkind and suddenly all my thoughts about them were all negative. I had never really had a negative thought about them before but my thinking was influenced by that and therefor my mood also changed. That made my day have more of a negative outlook, and not because the had made it that way but more like I had chosen it to be that way.

Sometimes I did have difficulty trying to decipher what feelings I was experiencing. Is this because you feel too many at the same time? My experience with this is that they would change so frequently sometimes that I would switch my thinking, I would be happy then sad, then angry. I wasn't sure how to define my thinking at the time so that made it more difficult.

Most often I felt the emotion of being content. I tend to be satisfied with the things around me, not super super happy or anything but pleased. That is a good feeling I think though, a good commonplace to sit. I like to think that I am a generally happy person but sometimes I need the middle ground and I find myself there frequently, and not that that is a bad thing!

The place where I don't show my real feelings is at work. I tend to keep to myself and try to work things uut on my own. This is a place where I do a lot of my rational thinking, such as, should I show how happy I am right now? Or just let what that guest just said about me go? And usually I just stay with a smile on my face whether I am feeling the opposite or not. This is also a safety net for me. I am not the type of person that really tries to show how I am feeling. I usually think that I will endure and get over it, and the feelings usually do pass.

There could be consequences I suppose. In situations where someone may need my support or need a genuine feeling to build a friendship I am more closed and reluctant to share. And that is I think simply just the way I was raised. It is difficult to say because I really can't say what I have missed out on because of this, I missed it! :)

This talk is one that everyone with ears to hear should take time to ponder and reflect upon. What power this Apostle of the Lord has and the convictions he speaks with makes his words come alive.
When reading this talk there was so much that hit me, made me reevaluate my thinking, and also the things we talked about in class. I loved when we began talking about “taking” offense, rather then being offended. Being offended is something of a choice we make as “beings.” We have that ability to choose whether or not we want to take the things that people say and apply them to our lives as something of value. The point was brought up in class that we must physically take that offensive statement and apply it to ourselves. We must go outside of our comfortable zone, and grasp that form of offensive-ness and make it our own. It isn’t something that can be given or thrown upon you. This is so true. Elder Bednar states that, “…believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. “ When he states that it is fundamentally false, it shows us that this is something that we make ourselves to believe. As the natural man we think that we really have more ability to be acted upon rather than to act in appositive manner. And acting in a positive manner is what our Heavenly Father wants from us. He hopes that we will choose to use our agency in such a light that would be worth Him giving that gift to us. We need to make our choices fit in line with the love we should have for our fellow men (and women!) so that in turn we show our real love for our Heavenly Father.
I am sitting in the library writing this, and behind me a couple is reading a scripture out loud that hit me hard when it comes to this topic. Matthew 25:40 reads, “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have adone it unto one of the bleast of these my cbrethren, ye have done it unto me.” As I have been pondering this I have thought about the people that try, specifically to offend us. This verse should be applied to them. When we seek to offend others we are in turn offending our God and when we decide to not forgive them, we too are choosing to not forgive our God. Taking offense is something that we should shun from our lives. We should leave it in the dust that we turn to our Heavenly Father.
The final thing that I found to be interesting in this talk is when he says that when we choose to feel a certain way about something we deny ourselves blessings, friendships and all other things that could have been a blessing to us had we chosen not to be offended. I think that in life we miss out on so much because of the negative choices we make. When we choose to use our agency negatively we shun the gospel. We cast out the things in our lives that could be vital and important, blessings that our Heavenly Father wants to bestow upon us. We choose the paths we walk, Heavenly Father only tries to light the path, it is up to us to really take to heart His words and trust your heart, every step of the way.

The compliment project

The Compliment Project

Prayer is a huge portion of strength in my life. When asked to prayerfully seek out someone to compliment I felt overwhelmingly excited, however for some reason that excitement turned to fear. When it came to the time of actually complimenting someone I found it difficult began to think badly about myself and how I interact with others. I began to think do I really notice others? How much do I really care? And the answer to these questions severely humbled me.
My first compliment was going to be directed at my mother. I know her the best and I thought that there couldn’t be anyone I would rather say something nice to. I called her up and told her how much I appreciated every time she answered the phone, as silly as that sounds. I told her that I loved to hear her voice and how much talking to her helped ease my stress. My mother then explained to me how she had been having a rough “mother day” as I am sure several mothers do. She felt as though she may have gone wrong somewhere with her children and that they didn’t appreciate her. I told her the opposite, this showed me that complimenting those you love helps you love them more when truthfully I didn’t think I could!
The next compliment was a difficult one to give. I work in a place that is comparable to a high school drama fest, not just every once in a while, this is something that occurs on a daily basis. Everyone gossips about everyone else, and to be honest I have been at fault for this sometimes too! So I was trying to earnestly seek out someone I didn’t like very much, someone that maybe hadn’t said nice things about me. And that is exactly what I did. There is this guy named Aaron who has a difficult time getting along with others. He is very much into his own world and his own thoughts, very opinionated. Now I am not saying this is wrong, but this type of a strong personality is sometimes difficult to cope with. I decided that day to tell him that I thought he was a good worker, and it was sincere. He looked at me, smiled and replied with an honest thank you.
Since that time he has not been much different, still strong willed, and sometimes overly grumpy, but I have hope! The other day he said hello as he walked through the door to begin his shift, an irregular occurrence. One that made me smile, knowing that maybe we were headed in a right direction. All it takes is time and patience.
My final compliment is perhaps the most simple and the one that is the most dear to my heart. I was a teenage girl once and I understand how hard it is to really feel good about yourself sometimes. In the media today all we hear about is you’re not good enough, you’re not pretty enough. This sometimes makes each day tough, and a struggle to work though. I made it a conscious effort to find someone that wasn’t feeling good about themselves and say something nice about them. I work with a uniquely pretty lady, beautiful long dark hair and soft brown eyes. I have always thought she was beautiful, but something behind the softness of those eyes tells me there is nervousness there. I walked up to her and told her she looked so pretty that day… And her eyes, brimmed with tears, she said, “Thank you, it’s been a while since someone has told me something that nice…” I was touched, in a slightly sad way. I wanted her so much to know what I really thought of her, and some day maybe I will get the chance. I just wish everyone had their time in the sun, their time to really feel beautiful.
Life is tough, but it’s those little moments within a compliment, the smile of a friend, the love of another, that bring us closer. That bring us such happiness, it’s our duty to share them more often.

The doer of our deeds

To be honest, this talk changed my whole thoughts about being a girl and the challenges we face. I think that self esteem is another way for us to feel sorry for ourselves. But through the power of this talk my opinion has been changed, and molded into something new.
As a teenage girl life is hard, not that it isn’t for everyone, but Satan knows he can use our thoughts and turn them on ourselves. He has a huge upper hand in the media and knows is capabilities in this. He knows that if he can begin to get us to think less of ourselves we will have a lower self image and thus not be able to influence others for good. This talk changed my poor me attitude about this, self esteem is not something physical, it’s a strength that needs to be captured and cultivated into something higher than a look in the mirror.
The part in this talk that struck me the most is when she speaks about spiritual nakedness and how it effects the way we look at ourselves. She states that it is a feeling of guilt, which does, in a sense, cause self doubt. This nakedness which we feel is something that we can also see on the faces of others. You know when someone isn’t living their life to the best of their ability and when the option of sin is weighing heavily in their mind. They are missing that something that usually shines from their eyes. This will allow us to become intraverted, and closed, self conscious maybe, at the time when we need to open up and be bold the most.
Times like these in my own life are times when I have needed my Savior the most. That is why I appreciated the next paragraph so much. It states that He will not leave us comfortless, He knew we would feel such pain being away from His presence. He is all understanding, and gives us that hand when we lift it up to Him. These times when we feel our worst are the times that if we would stretch above ourselves ever so slightly higher, He would lift us to where we want to be. It takes effort, and sometimes we aren’t willing to give it.
Later on she continues to talks about setting ourselves up for these types of feelings. This is true, when we tell ourselves one incorrect principal it causes us to act on that furthering our progression for that closeness to our Heavenly Father. We set up that spiritual disease within ourselves, making our lives more difficult and this is not what our Father intended. He wanted us to be strong, brave, forthright individuals. How can we accomplish this if we are not actually being “do’ers” of what is being taught by our Father.
Finally the thing I love about this talk the most is its overall concept of the unimportance of self esteem. How true this is. Self esteem is something that the carnal man seeks after, and are we to be carnal men? No. We are to seek for something better, something higher. I am reminded of a song, I believe written by Hilary Weeks. It says something like… “Does the light of Christ shine through your eyes?” We all know those people who can get up in front of a crowd not prepared, bear a beautiful testimony and leave the whole congregation satisfied with the spirit and the power of their words. These are the types of people with whom Christ walks. He knows their heart and their intentions. He knows that self esteem is something that never crosses their mind because they know their God. They have taken the time to come close to him and understand that through Him, is the only true type of confidence found.
Self esteem is not something we should search for in a wishing well, in a mirror, a new pair of pants, or even things like surgery or colored contacts. It is something that is meant to bless the lives of others with goodness. It cannot bless the lives of others with the spirit if it is not founded in the spirit. It is something Godly, and worth seeking for, if only for the right reasons.

mmhmm

The article on a true story was so hearfelt. This is a story that inspires you to do something. To touch a life, but also to remember people, because when you do they will surely remember you.
So I know that I talk about this all the time but my thoughts today come from this experience and I wanted to share them. As an AFY counselor I had different kinds under my wing each week. The faces were always changing and I could hardly slow down enough to really remember names. There were two kids however, who in my third week, for some reason I really thought to take notice of. They were two boys, about fifteen and they inspired my life, and my reason for caring for people. I learned a powerful lesson, when you make someone important to you, they quickly make you a priority as well. This is such a blessing also, especially to have learned at the ripe, young age of twenty.
These are two sweet boys, kind but not really standout kids, not too loud, or flashy, but good handsome boys. They were seeking for something that week, and I think that it was the need to be needed, and I was doing the same. They also needed to feel loved.
Tyson, admittedly was my favorite. He reminded me so much of myself that week, excited about life, looking for great things. He had an infectious smile that is going to knock every girl dead when he grows a foot or so. But he was seriously sick on the Wednesday of that week, the rafting day. He felt awful, and I made sure to let him know that he was important to me, and that I wanted to know that he was ok. So I gave him my blanket, let him know I would look after him. He gave me a weak smile and feel fast asleep.
When he awoke he felt so much better, and we had a long talk. He told me of his thoughts, dreams, etc. I am pretty sure that it was just whatever came to his mind. And that was fine, he just needed to be listened to at this time. Just like the boy in the story. He needed to know that someone cared and was willing to listen to him, help him solve simple problems.
He wrote me a letter that I will post later, probably the most unsuperfucial thing I have ever read. He talked just about his need for someone and now he felt he had someone. Tyson and I have maintained a friendship, a deep one because it is something spiritual. He is now a freshman and enduring through that has been a challenge. But knowing you have someone on the other line is always a blessing, and I know for me adds a smile to my face.

assign. listening

So today is a new day, and believe me I could not be happier. The Sun changed my whole mood about this week, wow. This picture is a perfect example of how I am feeling in the glorious town of Rexburg this morning.. But just like sunshine can brighten your day, SO can the love of friends... So for the assignment on communication and really listening, I first started with my Mother, who you all know, is my best friend, in every sense of the word... But I also have another best friend, someone I honestly feel I knew before this life I suppose... Sort of like the Sister someone knew I would need, but had to wait till I was fifteen, and in desperate need to find. And wow, when I found her, my life became a brighter place, just like this picture. She is a blonde with a beautiful charming smile, and heart, a heart of pure gold.

The most interesting part of this assignment I have found, is that the more you know someone, the less you listen sometimes. Weird I know. I have known Kacie since I was fifteen, a friendship that quickly formed somewhere between silly classes, even sillier boys, long talks, more tears than a bucket could hold, and soo many more laughs, they would fill the room you stand in now. But she has become a treasure to me, and some what of an asset to my life. However, because we know each other so well, we take that for granted sometimes, we forget the importance of listening. I especially, I am a very ME person (working on improving that though I might add!) and she has put up with that for five years or so.
She is currently working for an accounting firm, GROCO in the beautiful San Jose, and left me here, in the ALMOST (NOT!) as beautiful Rexburg. But at this time we are going through very different experiences, and for the first two and a half months I wasn't taking the time to really listen to her, to know what she was doing. I think I just assumed that she would always listen to me, and be there forever. From what we have learned in class, each relationship DOES take time, and most importantly it takes maintenance. I have never really believed in maintenance, you know, with the things of this world. I tend to be really good at, if something doesn't work, THROW it AWAY! But when it comes to Kacie, I refuse to throw that away. She is my sister, through and through, so this week, maintenance has been number one on my list with her.

I discovered SO much about her that I didn't know! Things I may have just assumed, but really listening to her she brings so much more to the table! She loves life! She loves me! And those types of things were reinforced, when she really listened, as always, and when I really tuned in. I found out that things are happening in her life that are thrilling! And worth sharing with someone, I feel blessed to know that I am that someone she wants to share her special experiences with right now.

I know that someday a man will take my place, ber her shoulder to cry on, her only one to really laugh with, but this time of maintenance and communication has taught me just how deep our communication really is. And just how much you can learn from a person if you simply open your ears to hear, and shut everything else. Wow.

Check the looks on my face.. I was looking at this and thinmking about FACIAL expressions. what am I really saying? ha ha GET ME OUTTA HERE!

Whew!

Mmm. Life is an interesting thing. You forget things, but then are blessed because you work hard. Thank goodness for the gospel:)

wanted it on my page too!

Facil expressions anyone?

Woah.

Just watching Glen beck.. AND heard the most interesting thing, not sure how much this has anything to do with interpersonal comm. BUUt you knwo it's cool anyway

Kind of conterversial so sorry if this is somewhat offensive..........

But he put up a picture of Jesus and next to it a picture of Hitler, saying that clearly these men stand for different things... One, being Jesus, obviously, is all good, tkaing us towards something good.. But Hitler, is evil. Advising us towards something we don't want.

They both say the same thing however, when you are hungry and fearing, come to me, I will help you...

GB made the point, when we are hungry and fearing our perception of these people is clouded, it is hard to see the difference when we are desperate... It said remember to know the difference BEFORE the you are fearing, before you are starving.. hmm Does that make sense?

MOOOORe food for thought...

yeaaa... life is good.

three special things.. mmhmm

So... I know I said on Twitter that I would post something about this so here it is... I had three precious experiences... and here they are


You cant laugh at the first one... ok??

So at work I answer the phones.. And Sunday night I did as usual.. and a young man called and asked if there would be a wait... he had a birthday coming in... yadda yadda.. and sunday's arent busy so I told him he would be fine to come right it.. I was super nice, wished him a happy birthday and told him that we looked forward to him and his family come in... So they sat at table 201 which seats six and began celebrating what I came to find out was a fourteen year old boys birthday, he had been the one on the phone.. So I went to help their server, Hiram (a good friend of mine...) bring salads to their table.. And I kind of joked and talked with them, sweet good people.. Then Hiram told them we were going to have servers come to sing happy birthday... the little boy looked at Hiram and said, I want the girl I talked to on the phone to sing to me too! I think her name was amy, and hiram said well yea, and she already stopped by, that was the girl in the black that helped deliver her salads,, and the boy said,, oooh yea. have her come..

somehow it came up that he leaned and told his dad that he wanted me to kiss him on the cheek, and Hiram found out, and told me. The boy had said that that would make his birthday perfect...

Low and Behold, I did it....... I kissed a fourteen year old! AH ha ha buut he did say that he would be back next year;) He was proud, and it made me happy I could help make his day...

(Don't worry, Chase knows..:P)

And then the next day... Chase and I were at Taco bell... We quickly noticed a lady all alone in front of us, looking lonely.. And I thought nooo she has a wedding ring on, she can'tbe lonely! But chasebeing the good man that he is said uhh no we hsould do something... So the first thoguht that came to mind was... Maybe she needs a hug, so that's exactly what I did. I waited till she was finished and we were leaving... I got on my kneesnext to her and asked her if I could ask her a question she said well of course.. And I said can I give you a hug?? and she said, I could always use a hug...with tears in her eyes, I got up, bent close and hugged her the best I knew how.. I wished her a happy day and left.. feelinglighter than air... quite the feeling.

Finally, these last two experiences were two days in a row, wednesday hit and I knew I had to do something.. so it was late and I was coming home from work,, I knew I had to do something to match the other days... I went to grab chase dinner from a drive through and saw a girl buying her food, I thought htis is TOO silly,, but I did it anyway and handed the guy my card at the second window and told him to pay for it.. I slumpedback in my seat as not to embarass her.. of course she saw anyway and smiled, but I felt good, a little sillybut good.,

These types of experiences define us. They make us better. WOW.

feild trip to watch people mmmhmm!

So yesterday we did the experiment on people's reaction to things... And it was the most awkward experience..

First we began by simply watching people, which we all know is interesting. We chose two different days, the first we began watching people in the Hart. (after a large bag of serious breadsticks! HA!) and nothing really happened too big... But we saw a little bit of this guy being super into this girl, ith the lean in, the hand on the knee everything... But she had some serious denial written all over her face. I am not sure if she was completely oblivious or really was not interested. There so many things in underlying conversation that we can't see. I have realized in wathing other people that interpretation is everything. You may see one thing that others would never interpret as something and vice versa, you may send a message you don't even know. For all I know this guys was her husband and she was madly in love with him but maybe his hand was sticky so she didnt feel like holding it? ha ha

Another part of our expericence began a few days later in the crossroads where we I suppose tried to cause some mischief! ha ha We began by sitting in the middle of the pathway, which suprisingly didn't get much of a reaction, I was surprised. People merely walked on by like t wasn't a big deal. It was when we set a real obstruction, like a table in their way that people began to say things. When we were sitting on the floor one guy gave us a thumbs up! He seemed nice... But that's about all the reaction we got:) however with a table in the way people were confused and I think a little frustrated.

The best part of my day is when we snagged my boyfriends roommate and asked him how willing he was to be embarassed, he's running for student body pres. (VOTE FOR SCOTT RENNER!!! had to add that in!) so it really wasn't a big deal... We eventually came up withthe senario that he would propose to m... In the middle of everyone.. and not simpl standing there, oh no, h got ON a table and asked for everyone's attention, not a few, but very head turned as he pulled me on the table and asked me to marry him... with a fake ring and everything, everyone was cheerig. It was uncomfortable, this was my BOYFRIENDS roommate and all... ha ha but awkwardness makes the world go round I think:)

fear

this post I stole it... I am not going to lie and it has nothing to do with nonverbal communication...

buuut tough

Fear - Sometimes we need to get over it.

How to get over your fears. 5 Steps.

1. Define your nightmare, the absolute worst that could happen if you did what you are considering.

2. What steps could you take to repair the damage or get things heading up?

3. What are you putting off out of fear?

4. What is it costing you - financially, emotionally, and physically - postponing action?

5. What are you waiting for?

Get out there and do it. Make that sales call, apologize, sign up for the race, go talk to that cute girl (or boy, considering I am a... GIRL!) in the library. If you are worried and or fearful, go through the 5 steps and then just do it.