mmm project paper

The projects that I participated in were very powerful influences in my life. I was in two of them, the warm fuzzies project and the adopt a grandparent project. Both made me think just a little bit differently, both made my day each day I began them.
The first project that I started was the warm fuzzies project. It began as one of those things that I had no idea where it was going to go. I wasn’t sure who I could serve, or give something to someone that would be meaningful to them. I have discovered through that question however, that no matter the person you serve, the joy comes to you and them. So we started out simply asking people what they like about BYU-I. We took their pictures and made them write their thoughts down. This was tough, each person had a different opinion, and some were more on the negative side. Our plan is to give the book to President Clark, so it wasn’t like we wanted him to know that we think anything negative about his pride and joy.
This school really is a blessing to everyone who walks through its doors. It is a blessing to be able to use someone’s tithing, hard earned money given to the Lord, to be here. It has given me a deeper appreciation for this school. And I think that this also helped people remember just how blessed they are to be here. One of the cards was written by a girl who was extremely reluctant to write anything. She looked at me as though I was crazy and really didn’t want to do it. However I asked nicely and she politely took the card. I left for a bit, thinking that she really wouldn’t write anything.
I returned about a half hour later and the card was on my keyboard where I had once been. I picked it up and read it, curious. It said that at first she didn’t want to write about her experience here, she really didn’t like BYU-I. But then she thought about how selfish this was, she thought that this wasn’t the reason why she was here. She talked about how ungrateful she had seemed for those tithing dollars that went into the school.
She made me think a little more about how people work so hard to get me here. It made me wonder do I repay each of them? Are they going to glean anything from my studying here? It made me want to get more out there, like with these projects, so I can find people to touch. The thing about this project is yes it technically only was to serve one person, President Clark, but I think it turned into a project of humility, for me and the people we spoke with. When someone or something brings attention blessings you don’t usually catch you are reminded how beautiful life really is, and how strong you can get it to be.
I went into this project at first thinking that serving only one person wasn’t really the goal but with hopes that I would find a way to serve others and I think that by pointing out the blessings we all receive from attending here was simply the ticket.
The second and final project I participated in was one that changed my life completely, as cliché as that sounds. I discovered a new love of mine, one that I know is here to stay, unlike most men! I had a weird experience as a young girl and I was determined that retirement homes were of the devil. I went to one with my young womens group to deliver something for some holiday, I can’t remember. But a lady said “hey, you young thing, let me talk to you for a second…?” And I didn’t mind, she seemed sweet. But she pulled me aside and said, “Quick, get out of here while you still can!!”
Thinking back on that experience I think she may have either been a little crazy or simply playing a joke on me. However this caused me to never want to return to any home like that of any kind. Old people were now on my “To-Don’t” list. But this semester caused me to revaluate that initial thought.
I wanted to do something that was out of my comfort zone, I don’t have much that is but as soon as this project was initiated I thought that will be perfect. I have a fear of homes like that, but I am older now, I can handle it. So I went into it with a cheerful heart and hoped that it would be rewarding, not only for myself and my group but the residents as well. It turned out to be more rewarding than I could have thought.
The first day I was able to go it was awkward for me. I had to talk to people I didn’t know and people who’s life I know nothing about. This sounds silly because I waitress and do this all day, but this wasn’t in my environment, it was in their homes. I was not in a places I felt secure. So the first man we spoke with was Reed, he didn’t have much to say, and had a hard time breathing. But it was special to see his face light up with excitement as new people entered the room. It was interesting to see how new people for him was simply not a problem, but I was freaking out inside. We didn’t speak with him long, it, I believe was just tough for him.
We walked a little down the hall and entered the room where the ladies get their hair done every Thursday. Some get it simply styled, some get it dyed, away from all that white and some simply go to chit chat. The same lady has been doing some of their hair for over thirty years. I got to see a bond between these ladies that went far beyond hair dresser and client, there were life long friendships evident in that room. We laughed, joked, and even teased. I remember Dorothy, a fiery red head I have grown to love, talk all about the time her late husband painted the steps on her front porch green and didn’t tell her. She sat right there in her white capris, realizing too late that strips of green now accompanied the paper white pants. We all had a good giggle.
Over the next few times we visited the times became sweeter and sweeter. They didn’t always remember us, but we remembered them and what they were teaching us. I remember feeling a genuine love from each resident as sometimes they would gather us in their arms for a more than welcomed hug, or a sincere thank you would be offered when we did something they could not.
One of my treasured memories is sitting at the piano with Janette. She is the sweetest lady who still remembers specific songs from way back when that she can play extraordinarily on the piano. There is one song I wish I could find, some probably fifties song that talks about picking your date up at a half past eight in a taxi. Dorothy would sing while Janette would play and there was a harmonious feeling there. They bonded through the art of a piano. Dorothy’s sweet, timid voice, and Janette’s power on the keys was a beautiful sight to see.
Janette would also play with me, she would laugh when I made mistakes and tease me till I made another one. It was her love, that piano, and it made a simple smile dance across my face each time I saw her veer toward the piano expectantly, waiting for us to play too!
I really feel as though older people have more stories to tell, and even more, they have better stories to tell. This experience was a time when each emotion, each positive one, came out. I felt love, compassion, silliness, sincere joy, and sometimes even a tear or two. These people taught me that no matter your age, get up and sing! Play a game, do whatever you can, and even want to, until you can’t do it anymore! Life is a beautiful thing, make sure you go out and find what you feel makes your life your own kind of beautiful.

final paper...

This has nothing to do with my post, but this is my mom and my dad and I. The two main blessings of my life....


I am not sure where to begin when talking about this class. I don’t want this to sound anything like a testimony or a thank you letter, but I regret to inform you, Sister Embree that it may turn out that way. And I apologize if it really does end up that way.
This class, as cliché as this sounds, changed my life. And especially the way I view my relationships with the people around me. Before going into this class I was, and in some ways still am very selfish. I love to do things on my own and talk more than I listen. But I have really realized that I need to talk less and listen more. I gain more when I do that. I think that the thing that really taught me this is the opportunity we had to serve in the nursing home, but I’ll write more about that later.
I loved each chapter, each one applicable to a different aspect of my life. I feel as though my blinders about life have been removed. I have learned to love people, and get to know people I wouldn’t really want to. I found that this class was powerful because it taught us in MANY different ways to look at the people around us. To learn to ask them about their lives, and love them no matter what. I loved the opportunity to do the YOU project. Not only did someone catch a real essence of me, but I was able to really watch someone who has a great potential and a love for life just like myself.
This taught me a greater love for my Savior. This is what He does, he loves each and every one of us. Taking the time to get to know each one of us personally and on a deep emotional level. We shared things in this class that connected us on a deeper level. I know that I hadn’t shared some things with people that I did in this class. There were things that I didn’t know I knew about myself till this class pushed many of my weaknesses and strengths right before me. It was tough but this is almost like what we do with our Savior. We bring our weaknesses to the table, and he helps us strengthen and grow through those types of things. I hate to demean the Savior in any way and that isn’t my intention. I just want to say that this class is highly spiritual. I felt the Lord’s hand in what we did, in the things we said and did.
I think the biggest thing is indeed that the spirit was allowed to be there in each classroom. We had times where we did laugh and joke, times when we were silly. But I remember times when emotions ran high and tears almost began to run. I know that there were times when I would be upset at something said, but because the Spirit was in that room I knew that everything was going to be ok, and that people were allowed to have their own opinions. It was a joy to hear from others.
The other thing I learned is that people are raised differently than me, and that’s ok. I discovered that different ways of being raised is how we learn and grow from each other. These types of experiences are important when we need each other. When we need to grow into a person of worth. We can’t have every experience out there, and that’s why we are on this earth together. This is simply perfect! We are blessed with the people around is to push us towards perfection. Perfection is tough, but someday we’ll make it. It’s classes like this that we can push towards our Savior and living a life that’s worth something, that’s worth showing off to your Heavenly Father.
So Sister Embree, I am not sure if this makes any sense. But I loved this class. I love the better that it brought out in me. It will be a continual progression, as we all know that life is, but that’s perfect. That’s what we’re here for. So Sister Embree, thank you for giving me the opportunity to come closer to my Father in Heaven through my education.

yesterday

the older you get, the better you are to spend time with.

So I can't lie, I did steal this off of Becca's blog first, whoopsie! but I did it for a reason. These two ladies, and two others, made my year yesterday. It began when we all were able to feed them lunch and then we got to sit and eat with them. These two ladies in the picture first brightened my day, only because they are who they are. There is something about older people, they seem to love themselves. They don't care what the world has to say about them, they love themselves and most importantly everyone around them. I felt the spirit where they are. They are with it, I would say almost mroe hip then I am. (ALMOST:P) But one thing that Betty said really stuck out to me, she's on the right. She looked straight into my eyes and said, you know miss Amy, life goes on, or it doesnt. Simple yet if you think about it you have to keep enduring, and that's what she does each and every day. I can honestly say I love these ladies.

I met Elenore as well, she touched my life and made me smile. She is the great great neice of Brigham Young and her husband helped construct the bomb that was thron on Hiroshima.. He knew so much and for an older man, he was handsome! And she was simply just as gorgeous. She sat and talked to me for forty minutes and I soaked up every minuts.

Then Janette. She is a little ray of sunshine. She sang songs with me and laughed when we both messed up, dorothy even sang along. Some song about a taxi and some hunk of a man.

So much was learned yesterday! Yes!

mmmm

Just wanted to add a photo to show... the whole happiness thing I talked about a few posts ago... mmmhmm two of my best friends and I, we make life come ALIVE:)

Four words

my four words would be- mom, sorry, love and integrity:) #comm150

My first word would be mom because she is the woman in my life. I know that that may sound awkward and that is not how that is intended. But my Mother is solely my hero and best friend. She stands for something, even to people that would be the hardest to stand up to.. Her children have challenged her in so many ways, and she has stood her ground. Making sure that these spirits have a fighting chance through what she has taught them. She is vital to my everyday, life without her would be devastating.

Sorry is a word that I use a lot. At work I have been bound from saying it. When I took the love language quiz I found out that a big part of me is that I need words to affirm what I do. Including when I do something wrong. I don't need someone to do something to show me that they aren't mad or upset with me, I need verbal communication for me to again be confident and feel that the relationship is on the mend, or becoming ok. I also feel that everyone should have a steady diet of saying sorry to stay humble. It keeps everyone in check with everyone around them!

Love? Why is that one of my favorite words? My mother says I love you to me everyday and that means a lot... Of course.. But my Father says it when he REALLY needs you to know it. It is deep and worth more than you know. I want to have that same kind of power in that simple, beautiful word. When I say love, I want someone to FEEL it.

mmmm, Love.

Integrity is the final word I chose, and to be honest I probably should have put it first, because of its weight in the world.

Point blank everyone needs it. If you don't have it, do some SERIOUS soul searching and get some.

WHAT if tweets

I thought that the conversation about what if's is so hard. There are some things that we simple cannot understand or know until it actually happens to us. Things change, people change and so do opinions depending on who we are and the situations we are in.

As for would we pursue something if we knew that they were going to die.
To be honest with you I would now. I think that perfect love would be great to have right off the bat. But it makes me ask myself the question would it be as worth it if it was something just given or something that was REALLY sincerely worked for. I think that my answer to this would definitely be that I would want to work for it, AND have more time with that person. I would love to cultivate something, watch it grow and become something beautiful even if it wasn't the definition of perfect. No one can really have that anyway... I want something HARD! I want something that is going to make me cry, be angry, FEEL something.... Feel as though I might lose everything only to turn around the next day, see my version of perfect man and realize that I gave everything for MY everything.

As for betrayal. I still have to say yes. I have to remember how on this earth we are trying to become like Christ. Like Erick said in class yesterday we betray our Father and Savior every day and THEY love us. No matter what. If we are committed to someone in the temple, for time and all eternity.... Forgiveness should be something that is on the top of our list. From not experiencing real betrayal myself, I can only say that I would forgive it... who knows, maybe not? But this is what I would hope that I would do...


comm#150 I like that Jordi! I have been thinking this whole time that I am SO glad that I JUST don't know!

@RyaJam my thought almst too... you know you love some1 but thse thngs would def. be on the TODONT list... but it's supposedly perfect love?

comm#150 this one is tough I see why sis. Embree has wrestled with it for years......

comm#150 I have been thinking though.. do you want a love that is "perfect?" Is it really perfect then?

Comm#150 love and perfection in the same sentence??:) I think if a temple sealing was on that..? I could wait... Maybe
#comm150 I think that their reward is in the lessons learned not really the person learned from? if that makes sense?

recognizing your emotions

How did you recognize the emotions you felt: through physiological stimuli, nonverbal behaviors, or cognitive process?

-The way that I recognized my feelings the most was in my thought process. For instance someone said something to me that was unkind and suddenly all my thoughts about them were all negative. I had never really had a negative thought about them before but my thinking was influenced by that and therefor my mood also changed. That made my day have more of a negative outlook, and not because the had made it that way but more like I had chosen it to be that way.

Sometimes I did have difficulty trying to decipher what feelings I was experiencing. Is this because you feel too many at the same time? My experience with this is that they would change so frequently sometimes that I would switch my thinking, I would be happy then sad, then angry. I wasn't sure how to define my thinking at the time so that made it more difficult.

Most often I felt the emotion of being content. I tend to be satisfied with the things around me, not super super happy or anything but pleased. That is a good feeling I think though, a good commonplace to sit. I like to think that I am a generally happy person but sometimes I need the middle ground and I find myself there frequently, and not that that is a bad thing!

The place where I don't show my real feelings is at work. I tend to keep to myself and try to work things uut on my own. This is a place where I do a lot of my rational thinking, such as, should I show how happy I am right now? Or just let what that guest just said about me go? And usually I just stay with a smile on my face whether I am feeling the opposite or not. This is also a safety net for me. I am not the type of person that really tries to show how I am feeling. I usually think that I will endure and get over it, and the feelings usually do pass.

There could be consequences I suppose. In situations where someone may need my support or need a genuine feeling to build a friendship I am more closed and reluctant to share. And that is I think simply just the way I was raised. It is difficult to say because I really can't say what I have missed out on because of this, I missed it! :)

This talk is one that everyone with ears to hear should take time to ponder and reflect upon. What power this Apostle of the Lord has and the convictions he speaks with makes his words come alive.
When reading this talk there was so much that hit me, made me reevaluate my thinking, and also the things we talked about in class. I loved when we began talking about “taking” offense, rather then being offended. Being offended is something of a choice we make as “beings.” We have that ability to choose whether or not we want to take the things that people say and apply them to our lives as something of value. The point was brought up in class that we must physically take that offensive statement and apply it to ourselves. We must go outside of our comfortable zone, and grasp that form of offensive-ness and make it our own. It isn’t something that can be given or thrown upon you. This is so true. Elder Bednar states that, “…believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. “ When he states that it is fundamentally false, it shows us that this is something that we make ourselves to believe. As the natural man we think that we really have more ability to be acted upon rather than to act in appositive manner. And acting in a positive manner is what our Heavenly Father wants from us. He hopes that we will choose to use our agency in such a light that would be worth Him giving that gift to us. We need to make our choices fit in line with the love we should have for our fellow men (and women!) so that in turn we show our real love for our Heavenly Father.
I am sitting in the library writing this, and behind me a couple is reading a scripture out loud that hit me hard when it comes to this topic. Matthew 25:40 reads, “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have adone it unto one of the bleast of these my cbrethren, ye have done it unto me.” As I have been pondering this I have thought about the people that try, specifically to offend us. This verse should be applied to them. When we seek to offend others we are in turn offending our God and when we decide to not forgive them, we too are choosing to not forgive our God. Taking offense is something that we should shun from our lives. We should leave it in the dust that we turn to our Heavenly Father.
The final thing that I found to be interesting in this talk is when he says that when we choose to feel a certain way about something we deny ourselves blessings, friendships and all other things that could have been a blessing to us had we chosen not to be offended. I think that in life we miss out on so much because of the negative choices we make. When we choose to use our agency negatively we shun the gospel. We cast out the things in our lives that could be vital and important, blessings that our Heavenly Father wants to bestow upon us. We choose the paths we walk, Heavenly Father only tries to light the path, it is up to us to really take to heart His words and trust your heart, every step of the way.

The compliment project

The Compliment Project

Prayer is a huge portion of strength in my life. When asked to prayerfully seek out someone to compliment I felt overwhelmingly excited, however for some reason that excitement turned to fear. When it came to the time of actually complimenting someone I found it difficult began to think badly about myself and how I interact with others. I began to think do I really notice others? How much do I really care? And the answer to these questions severely humbled me.
My first compliment was going to be directed at my mother. I know her the best and I thought that there couldn’t be anyone I would rather say something nice to. I called her up and told her how much I appreciated every time she answered the phone, as silly as that sounds. I told her that I loved to hear her voice and how much talking to her helped ease my stress. My mother then explained to me how she had been having a rough “mother day” as I am sure several mothers do. She felt as though she may have gone wrong somewhere with her children and that they didn’t appreciate her. I told her the opposite, this showed me that complimenting those you love helps you love them more when truthfully I didn’t think I could!
The next compliment was a difficult one to give. I work in a place that is comparable to a high school drama fest, not just every once in a while, this is something that occurs on a daily basis. Everyone gossips about everyone else, and to be honest I have been at fault for this sometimes too! So I was trying to earnestly seek out someone I didn’t like very much, someone that maybe hadn’t said nice things about me. And that is exactly what I did. There is this guy named Aaron who has a difficult time getting along with others. He is very much into his own world and his own thoughts, very opinionated. Now I am not saying this is wrong, but this type of a strong personality is sometimes difficult to cope with. I decided that day to tell him that I thought he was a good worker, and it was sincere. He looked at me, smiled and replied with an honest thank you.
Since that time he has not been much different, still strong willed, and sometimes overly grumpy, but I have hope! The other day he said hello as he walked through the door to begin his shift, an irregular occurrence. One that made me smile, knowing that maybe we were headed in a right direction. All it takes is time and patience.
My final compliment is perhaps the most simple and the one that is the most dear to my heart. I was a teenage girl once and I understand how hard it is to really feel good about yourself sometimes. In the media today all we hear about is you’re not good enough, you’re not pretty enough. This sometimes makes each day tough, and a struggle to work though. I made it a conscious effort to find someone that wasn’t feeling good about themselves and say something nice about them. I work with a uniquely pretty lady, beautiful long dark hair and soft brown eyes. I have always thought she was beautiful, but something behind the softness of those eyes tells me there is nervousness there. I walked up to her and told her she looked so pretty that day… And her eyes, brimmed with tears, she said, “Thank you, it’s been a while since someone has told me something that nice…” I was touched, in a slightly sad way. I wanted her so much to know what I really thought of her, and some day maybe I will get the chance. I just wish everyone had their time in the sun, their time to really feel beautiful.
Life is tough, but it’s those little moments within a compliment, the smile of a friend, the love of another, that bring us closer. That bring us such happiness, it’s our duty to share them more often.

The doer of our deeds

To be honest, this talk changed my whole thoughts about being a girl and the challenges we face. I think that self esteem is another way for us to feel sorry for ourselves. But through the power of this talk my opinion has been changed, and molded into something new.
As a teenage girl life is hard, not that it isn’t for everyone, but Satan knows he can use our thoughts and turn them on ourselves. He has a huge upper hand in the media and knows is capabilities in this. He knows that if he can begin to get us to think less of ourselves we will have a lower self image and thus not be able to influence others for good. This talk changed my poor me attitude about this, self esteem is not something physical, it’s a strength that needs to be captured and cultivated into something higher than a look in the mirror.
The part in this talk that struck me the most is when she speaks about spiritual nakedness and how it effects the way we look at ourselves. She states that it is a feeling of guilt, which does, in a sense, cause self doubt. This nakedness which we feel is something that we can also see on the faces of others. You know when someone isn’t living their life to the best of their ability and when the option of sin is weighing heavily in their mind. They are missing that something that usually shines from their eyes. This will allow us to become intraverted, and closed, self conscious maybe, at the time when we need to open up and be bold the most.
Times like these in my own life are times when I have needed my Savior the most. That is why I appreciated the next paragraph so much. It states that He will not leave us comfortless, He knew we would feel such pain being away from His presence. He is all understanding, and gives us that hand when we lift it up to Him. These times when we feel our worst are the times that if we would stretch above ourselves ever so slightly higher, He would lift us to where we want to be. It takes effort, and sometimes we aren’t willing to give it.
Later on she continues to talks about setting ourselves up for these types of feelings. This is true, when we tell ourselves one incorrect principal it causes us to act on that furthering our progression for that closeness to our Heavenly Father. We set up that spiritual disease within ourselves, making our lives more difficult and this is not what our Father intended. He wanted us to be strong, brave, forthright individuals. How can we accomplish this if we are not actually being “do’ers” of what is being taught by our Father.
Finally the thing I love about this talk the most is its overall concept of the unimportance of self esteem. How true this is. Self esteem is something that the carnal man seeks after, and are we to be carnal men? No. We are to seek for something better, something higher. I am reminded of a song, I believe written by Hilary Weeks. It says something like… “Does the light of Christ shine through your eyes?” We all know those people who can get up in front of a crowd not prepared, bear a beautiful testimony and leave the whole congregation satisfied with the spirit and the power of their words. These are the types of people with whom Christ walks. He knows their heart and their intentions. He knows that self esteem is something that never crosses their mind because they know their God. They have taken the time to come close to him and understand that through Him, is the only true type of confidence found.
Self esteem is not something we should search for in a wishing well, in a mirror, a new pair of pants, or even things like surgery or colored contacts. It is something that is meant to bless the lives of others with goodness. It cannot bless the lives of others with the spirit if it is not founded in the spirit. It is something Godly, and worth seeking for, if only for the right reasons.

mmhmm

The article on a true story was so hearfelt. This is a story that inspires you to do something. To touch a life, but also to remember people, because when you do they will surely remember you.
So I know that I talk about this all the time but my thoughts today come from this experience and I wanted to share them. As an AFY counselor I had different kinds under my wing each week. The faces were always changing and I could hardly slow down enough to really remember names. There were two kids however, who in my third week, for some reason I really thought to take notice of. They were two boys, about fifteen and they inspired my life, and my reason for caring for people. I learned a powerful lesson, when you make someone important to you, they quickly make you a priority as well. This is such a blessing also, especially to have learned at the ripe, young age of twenty.
These are two sweet boys, kind but not really standout kids, not too loud, or flashy, but good handsome boys. They were seeking for something that week, and I think that it was the need to be needed, and I was doing the same. They also needed to feel loved.
Tyson, admittedly was my favorite. He reminded me so much of myself that week, excited about life, looking for great things. He had an infectious smile that is going to knock every girl dead when he grows a foot or so. But he was seriously sick on the Wednesday of that week, the rafting day. He felt awful, and I made sure to let him know that he was important to me, and that I wanted to know that he was ok. So I gave him my blanket, let him know I would look after him. He gave me a weak smile and feel fast asleep.
When he awoke he felt so much better, and we had a long talk. He told me of his thoughts, dreams, etc. I am pretty sure that it was just whatever came to his mind. And that was fine, he just needed to be listened to at this time. Just like the boy in the story. He needed to know that someone cared and was willing to listen to him, help him solve simple problems.
He wrote me a letter that I will post later, probably the most unsuperfucial thing I have ever read. He talked just about his need for someone and now he felt he had someone. Tyson and I have maintained a friendship, a deep one because it is something spiritual. He is now a freshman and enduring through that has been a challenge. But knowing you have someone on the other line is always a blessing, and I know for me adds a smile to my face.

assign. listening

So today is a new day, and believe me I could not be happier. The Sun changed my whole mood about this week, wow. This picture is a perfect example of how I am feeling in the glorious town of Rexburg this morning.. But just like sunshine can brighten your day, SO can the love of friends... So for the assignment on communication and really listening, I first started with my Mother, who you all know, is my best friend, in every sense of the word... But I also have another best friend, someone I honestly feel I knew before this life I suppose... Sort of like the Sister someone knew I would need, but had to wait till I was fifteen, and in desperate need to find. And wow, when I found her, my life became a brighter place, just like this picture. She is a blonde with a beautiful charming smile, and heart, a heart of pure gold.

The most interesting part of this assignment I have found, is that the more you know someone, the less you listen sometimes. Weird I know. I have known Kacie since I was fifteen, a friendship that quickly formed somewhere between silly classes, even sillier boys, long talks, more tears than a bucket could hold, and soo many more laughs, they would fill the room you stand in now. But she has become a treasure to me, and some what of an asset to my life. However, because we know each other so well, we take that for granted sometimes, we forget the importance of listening. I especially, I am a very ME person (working on improving that though I might add!) and she has put up with that for five years or so.
She is currently working for an accounting firm, GROCO in the beautiful San Jose, and left me here, in the ALMOST (NOT!) as beautiful Rexburg. But at this time we are going through very different experiences, and for the first two and a half months I wasn't taking the time to really listen to her, to know what she was doing. I think I just assumed that she would always listen to me, and be there forever. From what we have learned in class, each relationship DOES take time, and most importantly it takes maintenance. I have never really believed in maintenance, you know, with the things of this world. I tend to be really good at, if something doesn't work, THROW it AWAY! But when it comes to Kacie, I refuse to throw that away. She is my sister, through and through, so this week, maintenance has been number one on my list with her.

I discovered SO much about her that I didn't know! Things I may have just assumed, but really listening to her she brings so much more to the table! She loves life! She loves me! And those types of things were reinforced, when she really listened, as always, and when I really tuned in. I found out that things are happening in her life that are thrilling! And worth sharing with someone, I feel blessed to know that I am that someone she wants to share her special experiences with right now.

I know that someday a man will take my place, ber her shoulder to cry on, her only one to really laugh with, but this time of maintenance and communication has taught me just how deep our communication really is. And just how much you can learn from a person if you simply open your ears to hear, and shut everything else. Wow.

Check the looks on my face.. I was looking at this and thinmking about FACIAL expressions. what am I really saying? ha ha GET ME OUTTA HERE!

Whew!

Mmm. Life is an interesting thing. You forget things, but then are blessed because you work hard. Thank goodness for the gospel:)

wanted it on my page too!

Facil expressions anyone?

Woah.

Just watching Glen beck.. AND heard the most interesting thing, not sure how much this has anything to do with interpersonal comm. BUUt you knwo it's cool anyway

Kind of conterversial so sorry if this is somewhat offensive..........

But he put up a picture of Jesus and next to it a picture of Hitler, saying that clearly these men stand for different things... One, being Jesus, obviously, is all good, tkaing us towards something good.. But Hitler, is evil. Advising us towards something we don't want.

They both say the same thing however, when you are hungry and fearing, come to me, I will help you...

GB made the point, when we are hungry and fearing our perception of these people is clouded, it is hard to see the difference when we are desperate... It said remember to know the difference BEFORE the you are fearing, before you are starving.. hmm Does that make sense?

MOOOORe food for thought...

yeaaa... life is good.

three special things.. mmhmm

So... I know I said on Twitter that I would post something about this so here it is... I had three precious experiences... and here they are


You cant laugh at the first one... ok??

So at work I answer the phones.. And Sunday night I did as usual.. and a young man called and asked if there would be a wait... he had a birthday coming in... yadda yadda.. and sunday's arent busy so I told him he would be fine to come right it.. I was super nice, wished him a happy birthday and told him that we looked forward to him and his family come in... So they sat at table 201 which seats six and began celebrating what I came to find out was a fourteen year old boys birthday, he had been the one on the phone.. So I went to help their server, Hiram (a good friend of mine...) bring salads to their table.. And I kind of joked and talked with them, sweet good people.. Then Hiram told them we were going to have servers come to sing happy birthday... the little boy looked at Hiram and said, I want the girl I talked to on the phone to sing to me too! I think her name was amy, and hiram said well yea, and she already stopped by, that was the girl in the black that helped deliver her salads,, and the boy said,, oooh yea. have her come..

somehow it came up that he leaned and told his dad that he wanted me to kiss him on the cheek, and Hiram found out, and told me. The boy had said that that would make his birthday perfect...

Low and Behold, I did it....... I kissed a fourteen year old! AH ha ha buut he did say that he would be back next year;) He was proud, and it made me happy I could help make his day...

(Don't worry, Chase knows..:P)

And then the next day... Chase and I were at Taco bell... We quickly noticed a lady all alone in front of us, looking lonely.. And I thought nooo she has a wedding ring on, she can'tbe lonely! But chasebeing the good man that he is said uhh no we hsould do something... So the first thoguht that came to mind was... Maybe she needs a hug, so that's exactly what I did. I waited till she was finished and we were leaving... I got on my kneesnext to her and asked her if I could ask her a question she said well of course.. And I said can I give you a hug?? and she said, I could always use a hug...with tears in her eyes, I got up, bent close and hugged her the best I knew how.. I wished her a happy day and left.. feelinglighter than air... quite the feeling.

Finally, these last two experiences were two days in a row, wednesday hit and I knew I had to do something.. so it was late and I was coming home from work,, I knew I had to do something to match the other days... I went to grab chase dinner from a drive through and saw a girl buying her food, I thought htis is TOO silly,, but I did it anyway and handed the guy my card at the second window and told him to pay for it.. I slumpedback in my seat as not to embarass her.. of course she saw anyway and smiled, but I felt good, a little sillybut good.,

These types of experiences define us. They make us better. WOW.

feild trip to watch people mmmhmm!

So yesterday we did the experiment on people's reaction to things... And it was the most awkward experience..

First we began by simply watching people, which we all know is interesting. We chose two different days, the first we began watching people in the Hart. (after a large bag of serious breadsticks! HA!) and nothing really happened too big... But we saw a little bit of this guy being super into this girl, ith the lean in, the hand on the knee everything... But she had some serious denial written all over her face. I am not sure if she was completely oblivious or really was not interested. There so many things in underlying conversation that we can't see. I have realized in wathing other people that interpretation is everything. You may see one thing that others would never interpret as something and vice versa, you may send a message you don't even know. For all I know this guys was her husband and she was madly in love with him but maybe his hand was sticky so she didnt feel like holding it? ha ha

Another part of our expericence began a few days later in the crossroads where we I suppose tried to cause some mischief! ha ha We began by sitting in the middle of the pathway, which suprisingly didn't get much of a reaction, I was surprised. People merely walked on by like t wasn't a big deal. It was when we set a real obstruction, like a table in their way that people began to say things. When we were sitting on the floor one guy gave us a thumbs up! He seemed nice... But that's about all the reaction we got:) however with a table in the way people were confused and I think a little frustrated.

The best part of my day is when we snagged my boyfriends roommate and asked him how willing he was to be embarassed, he's running for student body pres. (VOTE FOR SCOTT RENNER!!! had to add that in!) so it really wasn't a big deal... We eventually came up withthe senario that he would propose to m... In the middle of everyone.. and not simpl standing there, oh no, h got ON a table and asked for everyone's attention, not a few, but very head turned as he pulled me on the table and asked me to marry him... with a fake ring and everything, everyone was cheerig. It was uncomfortable, this was my BOYFRIENDS roommate and all... ha ha but awkwardness makes the world go round I think:)

fear

this post I stole it... I am not going to lie and it has nothing to do with nonverbal communication...

buuut tough

Fear - Sometimes we need to get over it.

How to get over your fears. 5 Steps.

1. Define your nightmare, the absolute worst that could happen if you did what you are considering.

2. What steps could you take to repair the damage or get things heading up?

3. What are you putting off out of fear?

4. What is it costing you - financially, emotionally, and physically - postponing action?

5. What are you waiting for?

Get out there and do it. Make that sales call, apologize, sign up for the race, go talk to that cute girl (or boy, considering I am a... GIRL!) in the library. If you are worried and or fearful, go through the 5 steps and then just do it.

YOUYOUYOU

So I posted that thinking about how I felt about compliments. I think that the you propject changed my idea. The you project is something that was meaningful to me! I was able to think about someone in a nonjudgemental way and try to think of something that would be meaningful for them, something that would allow their day to be brighter.. Now my YOU wasn't presented so I didn't get to feel the compliments, yet... BUt to be honest with you I don't really want to hear it, when I left that room I felt lighter than air, just because I put a smile on someone's face. All through a little effort and thought. It was a good feeling, and I think, not only to benefit ourselves but others we need to still compliment others. Wow. It really made a difference in my day... hmm MORE food for thought, that's what I seem to get from this class. I am not going to lie, most days I leave that room feeling VERY full. mmmmm

I am a little confused about this activity. To be honest with you I feel as though I am getting two different messages from this passage. As I think about it, it states in the beginning that we are not to seek the approval of others. That they are not there to build us up or construct the personal vision that we have of ourselves. I think that this is true. I have pondered this thought for a long time. When I am having a bad day and someone notices something I had worked extra hard on or something that I felt deserved recognition it makes my day that much better, however how realistic is this. It is something that can be seen as very temporary and short lived. A compliment can only go so far. However our self view of ourselves should be much more positive and different. We need to hold ourselves to a higher plan e than others do. The compliments and comments of others, both positive and negative should not sway our thoughts as easily as they do. Though a compliment is nice and invited with open arms, it is not something that we should expect.
The reason why this confuses me is because the article proceeds to talk about how we should fill others buckets, complimenting them etc. I am not sure how I feel about this because though it is nice in some people, I know having been a teenage girl once myself, this can cause a kind of dependence, a kind of seeking for others to see us in a certain light. It makes me wonder is this an unhealthy way of looking at this situation. That we actively seek to fill the buckets of others when in extreme cases this can become their life and everything they need.
This brings me to an overall conclusion. Like all things in life I think that we need to have a healthy balance in all things that we do. If we have an impression to say something to someone that is good we should say it. Especially if it is something positive, of the spirit and uplifting. We are here on this earth to seek comfort. However if it becomes something unhealthy, such as only giving a compliment seeking for one in return we should shun this thinking. This is in no way going to fill our buckets. Also if we on the opposite side are craving these types of compliments just simply because that is how we feed our self esteem, we need to stop in the act right away.
I think that as humans we need to find a more healthy outlet for causing ourselves to feel good. We should look for ways and things that make us smile rather than the acceptance of others. It makes me think about the things in my life that make me feel empowered about myself and excited to be who I am. I hate to pull a gospel tie to this but the only true way to have confidence is with faith and a firm foundation built on our Savior.

more thoughts on my perception of the media and habits maybe?

SOOO I wrote a paper the other day and thought I would post it on here. It is another form of perception I guess.. It is mine and also the perception of some aposteles and prophets on the media!

Heeding the Warning

“The choices we make in the media can be symbolic of the choices we make in life. Choosing the trendy, the titillating, the tawdry in the TV programs or movies we watch can cause us to end up, if we’re not careful, choosing the same things in the lives we live.” (Elder M. Russell Ballard, Let Our Voices be Heard.) As a member of today’s society it is almost impossible to avoid the overbearing presence of the media. Each of us, in one way or another, is affected by different presentations of media each day. It is up to us to decide how we use these influences and how we allow them to enter into our lives.
There are so many different forms of media, some we wouldn’t even recognize as being a source. The internet, as a college student, is so easily accessed, and also the most harmful. This type of media has spread itself to the masses. It is available to all who breathe, eat, and walk this earth. We have WI-FI so you can bring the internet with you in your pocket, cables so it is available in remote areas, and wireless internet so that it can be reached anywhere your computer can grasp a signal. Because this is right at the touch of a button for everyone, those good and evil, their every thought can, and usually is published on the internet. Nothing is private. And although some of us try to lie low and stay out of trouble, the evil seeks us out, and more often than not finds us in our most vulnerable state. The internet has such a power because we have allowed it to do so.
Another form of mass media is the movies we consume so eagerly. Christina Skousken talks in the New Era about just wanting a break after a long week of work. To her, nothing sounds better then a movie and a huge bowl of popcorn. (I would have to add a serious pillow fight!) We are prone to choose a movie based on genre and fail to really read what it is we are thrusting into our minds. This form of media is so easy to mask as something good, making the horrid things that occur seem not as bad. These things are so easily accepted and eventually embraced when we seek them over time. Yet another force that we have allowed to take precedence over what used to be an enriching form of entertainment.
The final form of media I will mention is one that has lasted century after century, and tugs deep at my heart strings, music. Music has so many faces, it possess its own type of individual beauty and passion. Beethoven wrote and composed beautiful pieces of love and power, such devoted expression. And yet, when music looks the other way, it has a large capacity to destroy, disrupt and halt any form of progression. It can send signals we can’t see with our eyes, which is unlike movies and the internet. We must be really tuned in to discover what it is we are being taught. We have to learn to recognize each face in order to properly discern what is good and what is not. People like Eminem and Jay-Z use music to exploit their dirty laundry, perverse passion and seemingly evil acts. This is the face of media we must have the courage to turn our own heads and learn to disregard.
The word that first comes to mind when discovering what our modern day prophets are teaching us about each of these forms of media is WARNING! They tend to accept its goodness but are quick to remind us to shun the horrid, the ugly, and the demeaning things that are so readily available when we grasp hands with the media. “Opposite from its harmful and permissive side, media offers much that is positive and productive. Television offers history channels, discovery channels, education channels. One can still find movies and TV comedies and dramas that entertain and uplift and accurately depict the consequences of right and wrong. The internet can be a fabulous tool of information and communication, and there is an unlimited supply of good music in the world.” (Elder M. Russell Ballard, Let Our Voices be Heard.) Thus our biggest challenge is to choose wisely what we listen to and what we watch. There is so much evil, masked as something that is outwardly ok and unfortunately embraced. The main example that we have of this is pornography, an earthly evil that has not only set its painful grasp on some of our men, but recently women as well.
“Pornography is not a victimless crime. Pornography degrades and exploits men, and women, and children in a most ugly and corrupt fashion.” (David B. Haight, Nov. 1984) We read here that it is not just some bad thing to avoid, but it is something evil and degrading. President Hinckley stated, “The computer is a wonderful instrument when it is used properly.” But evil is something that does not have a place in this church nor in this gospel, thus meaning we should shun the powers of pornography or anything like unto it. Pornography is a billion dollar corporation, completely corrupt, containing no good, but our mass media allows it to continue.
The Lord has declared, “Purge ye out the iniquity which is among you; sanctify yourselves before me.” (D&C 43:11) When the Lord says this He is giving us the opportunity to ignore these forms of media, to search, not only that but also to demand something better from the things with which we spend our time.
When I was a young girl I grew up on a street containing several families with children the same age as my brother and I. We often would play games and have okay dates with those other kids. My brother and I particularly liked the kids at the end of the street, they were the most fun and always knew where the best hiding places were for hide and seek. There were, however, kids at the top of the street, kids that Steven and I chose to play with very rarely. Some days we would notice that they had a cool new toy or the sprinkler on so we would invite them to participate in that day’s activities. One morning we decided to do just that.
The oldest girl, bigger than me in every aspect was predominantly cruel but I decided that I would give her one last chance to be kind. She told me she had a joke to tell me and that I first had to ask her how the weather was up there. So I did. I looked up at her and said, “Kristen, how is the weather up there?” She quickly reported that it was raining and proceeded to spit in my face. Let’s just say that I never played with that girl again. I decided to purge that person out of my life. Even though at times it was fun to play with the bigger kids, in the end, I gained nothing but a wet face. I learned quickly that when things weren’t right in my life, or things didn’t belong there, I must rid myself of the,/ Such is the way with media, when we gain no goodness, no good feeling, it is our obligation as people who carry the Holy Ghost, to shun evil, to demand better things from it.
The thirteenth Article of Faith reads, ”…If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.” These are things in the media that are strong solid pieces we can add to our already powerful foundation. This is not something to stand on solely, but adds to our substance as members of this gospel. We have the inherent duty to seek these things, things that are new, things that add to our intelligence. In Doctrine and Covenants, section 130 it teaches us, “…Whatever principle we attain unto this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection…And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience in than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.” We are taught that we need to be ahead in every aspect of our lives, we need to learn and to grow. One way we can do this is by seeking the best in the media. It is a belief that the media is a gift from God, though some have abused it, we can use our own skills to bandage its wounds and make it what it was intended to be. We have the potential to change and morph what it is into something with power, something with substance.
Unfortunately evil is something that will be available and evident in each day of our lives, for the rest o our lives. It is something that we will have to rub shoulders with but never something with which we should mingle. The prophets today encourage us to live up to what we believe in and to demand the best out of what we are given. We know what the Lord requires of us and are prepared with His armor, it’s up to us to get on our feet and make use of the power we possess.

Perception

Perception is such an interesting thing.

I love how in class we talked about how we cannot "get" others to see the world as WE view it. It just isnt possible. We all have different experiences and will not ever be able to force someone to think the way that we do. I find that in life we really do tend to think that the others around us really are just actors in our movies, when in reality if you look at their lives, WE are the actors in their real life story.

The other day I had a friend from work pass away. Work was very somber that day. It was intersting because everyone had a different perception of what had occured. It was a young man with a yung wife, they were extremely happy together.. But for some reason Heavenly Father needed his son home.

at work some people are not religious, and their thoughts were more negative. Sme found him lucky to be going to what we as Mormons know as home.. Others thought of their families and what that would be like if that were them. For me it made me want to let the people around me know that I was indeed so grateful for them. I called my mom up and tearfully told her I loved her.

It's these types of experiences that cause our perception of this world to change and morph, sometimes into a thing that is good... And other times a thing that is unfair and can cause great sorrow..

more food for thought I suppose.

Just to clarify- This will now be my Interpersonal Communications BLOG only! It will talk all about the amazing class and what's going on.

SO just to begin, I am stoked for these projects of service! You know service is a huge part of who we are as members of this church, but really... How often do we consciously do something for someone else, plan and actually carry it out? I mean it is something we probably do without thinking.. like vacuuming 3 rooms two of which aren't yours without even thinking about it..

However I am beginning to think that the ones you plan are maybe more beneficial.. Because you expect nothing in return, except for maybe a smile... And I am thinking that you receive the most without really noticing it! I have gotten so excited about service just talking about it!

Well Off to eat dinner with my man!

Amy

Continuing the conversation

My personal thoughts on the doer talk..

I wish I sounded more profound? I think I wrote this a little late at night, but the thing I am trying to get across is that.... this talk changed several of my "solidified" views...

To be honest, this talk changed my whole thoughts about being a girl and the challenges we face. I think that self esteem is another way for us to feel sorry for ourselves. But through the power of this talk my opinion has been changed, and molded into something new.
As a teenage girl life is hard, not that it isn’t for everyone, but Satan knows he can use our thoughts and turn them on ourselves. He has a huge upper hand in the media and knows is capabilities in this. He knows that if he can begin to get us to think less of ourselves we will have a lower self image and thus not be able to influence others for good. This talk changed my poor me attitude about this, self esteem is not something physical, it’s a strength that needs to be captured and cultivated into something higher than a look in the mirror.
The part in this talk that struck me the most is when she speaks about spiritual nakedness and how it effects the way we look at ourselves. She states that it is a feeling of guilt, which does, in a sense, cause self doubt. This nakedness which we feel is something that we can also see on the faces of others. You know when someone isn’t living their life to the best of their ability and when the option of sin is weighing heavily in their mind. They are missing that something that usually shines from their eyes. This will allow us to become intraverted, and closed, self conscious maybe, at the time when we need to open up and be bold the most.
Times like these in my own life are times when I have needed my Savior the most. That is why I appreciated the next paragraph so much. It states that He will not leave us comfortless, He knew we would feel such pain being away from His presence. He is all understanding, and gives us that hand when we lift it up to Him. These times when we feel our worst are the times that if we would stretch above ourselves ever so slightly higher, He would lift us to where we want to be. It takes effort, and sometimes we aren’t willing to give it.
Later on she continues to talks about setting ourselves up for these types of feelings. This is true, when we tell ourselves one incorrect principal it causes us to act on that furthering our progression for that closeness to our Heavenly Father. We set up that spiritual disease within ourselves, making our lives more difficult and this is not what our Father intended. He wanted us to be strong, brave, forthright individuals. How can we accomplish this if we are not actually being “do’ers” of what is being taught by our Father.
Finally the thing I love about this talk the most is its overall concept of the unimportance of self esteem. How true this is. Self esteem is something that the carnal man seeks after, and are we to be carnal men? No. We are to seek for something better, something higher. I am reminded of a song, I believe written by Hilary Weeks. It says something like… “Does the light of Christ shine through your eyes?” We all know those people who can get up in front of a crowd not prepared, bear a beautiful testimony and leave the whole congregation satisfied with the spirit and the power of their words. These are the types of people with whom Christ walks. He knows their heart and their intentions. He knows that self esteem is something that never crosses their mind because they know their God. They have taken the time to come close to him and understand that through Him, is the only true type of confidence found.
Self esteem is not something we should search for in a wishing well, in a mirror, a new pair of pants, or even things like surgery or colored contacts. It is something that is meant to bless the lives of others with goodness. It cannot bless the lives of others with the spirit if it is not founded in the spirit. It is something Godly, and worth seeking for, if only for the right reasons.

Continuing the Conversation for Interpersonal Communications:) WEEK ONE!

You know...

I have never really thought about the power of first impressions, till Monday. What a difference it makes when you are forced to actually write down what you think of someone.. You want to be truthful, but you dont know them. It made me think, will this mean anything to them? Will it have any influence at all? Could I hurt them?

I was with my AFY kids a few weeks ago.. And something really touched me..

We did this activity where we had to be very aware of the people around us, making sure they were ok... and such. Someone made a good point, they said have you ever stopped to think that these people have lives too?
And feelings? And people who find them beautiful? You can't just think that these people are simply actors in your life... They are really the star of their own lives..

It made me think about road rage, which I am known for. (Not serious or anything, just you know... the honkin' of the horn every.. now and again!) It made me think, I have no idea what is going on in this person's li;fe.. what kid of day they had, who they came across, who they love.. And here I am getting upset with someone I may NEVER meet... That first impression will never be possible...

This whole lesson, over the past few weeks, made me want to re-think my reality...

I just might.

Continuing the Conversation for Interpersonal Communications:) WEEK ONE!

I am excited for the things that this class is trying to teach me. However one things really concerns me.. I am not sure about all this communication online. It just doesn't seem very, uhh personal? But I will learn as I go I suppose?

Elder Bednar's talk..

Now as we all know Twitter, unfortunately, does not allow for much breathing room when it comes to writing.. so my long winded and thorough explanations of my thoughts will be displayed here. However you will have to avoid all my posts about mass communication! (Even though what I say may be invaluable to some.. however, probably not!) BUUT these are my thoughts on Elder Bednar's talk..

This was so inspiring. I love to get up and speak in front of people. When it comes to the question... would I rather do a math problem? Or speak at devotional... I would choose the rather in a heart beat. And it probably would not effect me at all. (Knock on wood!) So this talk really made me think about my talks I have given in the past and how I try to teach. I was hit so hard when the thought came to me, we need to first be learners then teachers... and ALWAYS learning. I think that this is when the spirit speaks to you the loudest! And who wouldn't want that loud voice guiding you all the time. Especially when you are seeking for answers.

Another thing that hit me is when he talked about how teachers never really give answers. They allow the students to go out and search for them. This past summer I was an AFY counselor here on campus.. and we had an opportunity to have a "reunion" of sorts with some of the kids... We had an object lesson the day we went skiing... and there was a time when a leader asked a question... the silence was HEAVY! and he let it sit there, no one answered. And this was powerful... He waited a bit and said, that silence is delicious. It means that you are all taking in something the spirit is trying to teach you. He was letting them discover their own lesson. POWER.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for today.

Happy Saturday!